I decided to play hookey..

I decided to play hookey this morning. I had signed up for the KOMEN 5K walk and was going to do the warm up with my Jazzercise buddies. But last night I just didn't want to go. I don't know why either. I wanted to stay home with my family.

I think cancer gave me the will power to just say no to things I really don't want to do. I think of my time as ultra precious. Something I don't want to waste. I savor each moment. That is a gift I guess that Cancer gave me.

Last year when I did the walk it was very hard emotionally. Maybe that is why I skipped it this morning. I just didn't want to be there. I should be proud that I am survivor. I am not ashamed of what happen to me. But I feel my calling to "pay it forward" is not the Komen walk. But to Mentor. Mentor other newly diagnosed women. Which I have been blessed to do several times already.

I also want to give back to the organization that helped me more than anything..Breastcancer.org. This website was my resource, it was my midnight support group. When I was scared, unsure or frightened to beyond words, it was there like a warm fuzzy sweater. The hard part is that we see new ladies join every day. I see friends who progress to mets and I have lost some friends to this damn disease. My heart breaks every time.

I wonder sometimes if I should just move ahead and keep being a cancer survivor a thing of the past. But I can't. It is not in my nature. I need to help others. I need to 'pay it forward'. That is not waling for 3 miles in the rain.

In the middle of the night one of my 5 year olds came into my room and asked me if it was a work day tomorrow. I said no, that Mommy would be home all day. I know I made the right decision to stay home with my family. I want to be at home when Fitzhappens.

My babies are growing up...

My babies started kindergarten last week. Where did the time go? I never thought I would be one of those mothers that didn't want her children to grow up. Guess what? I am. I miss the days they were toddlers. I miss my fat pudgy little pacifier sucking boys. They are growing so fast. People tell you that. Just wait they say, they grow up so fast. I thought 'yeah yeah whatever...I am in sleep deprivation hell' and you are telling me this will fly by?

So as they got onto the bus I felt like crying, just a bit. They didn't look back or wave, they piled on to begin their new lives as school aged children.

The hardest part for me was two-fold. The boys are into saying things like "when I am bigger can I do this or that" or they talk about their future in school and the things they want to do. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I might not be a part of that future. G*d forbid. If the fates are kind to me, and the chemo worked I will be with them. Through all the homework, broken friendships, games, good grades and bad, and girls! I just hope I can experience those sleepless nights worrying about where they are at 11:00 at night, wanting them home. I hope they will still want to hang out with me too.

Where did the time go? I guess fitzhappens.

Driven to tears...

It has been over a year and a half since I started on this journey. Friday I walked in the Local Relay for Life. I did it on my noon hour because my family has plans for the weekend. Last year I did the survivor lap with my boys and my mother.My little 4 year old boys held my hands as I did that walk. I was fighting back the tears the entire time.

Along comes this year's Relay for Life. Friday I walked an hour slot for a friend/survivor at work who had a booth and a team. As I started the walk my eyes began filling again with tears. There are signs along the walk with booths vowing to fight or wipe out cancer, the memorials and the 'in honor' of loved ones... and it brings all that emotion crashing back to me.

There are no visible signs of my cancer treatment this year. My hair is longer, the color is back in my face and I have eyebrows. Anyone meeting me on the street would not even know. Some days that is a huge comfort. I can be normal again. Other days, I want people to know what I have been through.

I wonder as a cancer survivor if I will ever get past the tears. But then again, maybe I don't want to? It keeps me grounded.

Full Moon

Through out our lives Full Moons have had many different meanings. I think when I was growing up I probably never gave a full moon a second thought just enjoying how neat it looked up in the sky. As I neared adolescent I am sure the thoughts of vampires and werewolves must have crossed my mind.

As we become more aware of our world we share stories about people acting strangely on a full moon. Emergency rooms are filled to capacity, people do weird things and all of the weirdos are out. When everyone at work acted strangely for a few days one can almost guarantee that someone will say "must of been a full moon".

As humans we always want to explain away everything in life. That there is a reason and purpose for every event in our lives. Greek Mythology, religion, legends and myths. It is so intertwined in our culture, every culture on this planet.

The other night my dog Charlie started licking me around 2 a.m. in the morning. This is not a normal event. So I am sure that he had to go outside. I dragged myself out of bed and went down stairs. The back yard was lit up, like there was a flood light shining off the house. I looked up. It was the moon. It was awesome. As the dog was running around the back yard chasing whatever I couldn't help but enjoy that full moon. I wasn't worried about werewolves or crazy people, but just so full of awe at the sight. I almost wanted to wake up the family. I am sure they would have thought I was crazy.

A full moon on a clear night is truly amazing and beautiful. One of those things in life that if we are moving too fast we can miss. I try to enjoy things like this more often, for some reason, cancer or not, I have been stopping to look at the world around me. I don't want it to happen with out me anymore.

Catalog Season!

I received over 10 catalogs in the mail today! I love catalogs. I just love looking at each page, each piece of clothing, houseware, jewelry or toy! It is so much fun. The boys spent 1/2 hour taking turn looking at the latest toy catalog.

It is funny. Catalogs are part fantasy. We can picture ourselves as skinny svelte babes wearing the chic outfits on the glossy pages. I love just looking almost like going to an art gallery. Sometimes I just look, admire and gaze. I don't think guys get it.

My fetish goes like this, I paw through a catalog, fold down a page & circle what I want. I envision those who might buy me this or maybe get me a lovely gift certificate. Then I go back in a few days and look again. Then I will review my selections in a week or two.

Now, if I am still in love with my selection...I just might whip out the ole- American Express and treat myself! What the heck? Right? I had cancer damnit! Then again, maybe I wont. I still have a mortage to pay and groceries to buy!

Fitz goes shopping!

Reaching out

I have always been someone who has felt the need to reach out to others. Whatever the need is I have a strong desire to help people. I love to share my life experiences with others. I find that speaking with someone who has 'been there done that' always helps.

When I divorced, I found that my biggest comfort was a friend who was going through a similar breakup. We would talk daily, cry and share together. It was a wonderful healing experience. Whenever I learn of anyone going through a divorce, I try to share my wisdom, what helped me and what I did to move forward.

When I had 2 miscarriages I did not keep it to myself. I shared with others. It was amazing how many women stepped forward to share with me their stories. I even emailed a Jazzercise instructor friend who lived across the country who had recently m/c. We must of emailed for several months. She was such a big comfort. We both ended up carrying a successful pregnancy to term. Now, when I learn of a friend who has had a miscarriage I jump right in. I don't say stupid stuff like "it was meant to be' or "You can have another". When going through a miscarriage that is not what we want to hear.

I am probably one of those crazy people that others hate. I approach people in public. After having twins and having a horrible time the first three-five months I now find it my compelling duty to approach anyone with infant twins. I ask them how they are sleeping and eating. I offer my unsolicited advice (some I found out have taken) about how to get the sleep more and letting them know it gets easier. After I approached one couple in Home Depot, I had one father look at me and thank me after I was done. On the flip side, I have had some people look at me like I was intruding on their personal space. That always surprises me and it shouldn't. When ever some kind hearted person approached me and said, "I have twins too" and offered be a glimmer of hope that I wouldn't be so tired in a few months, it would make my day.

Now life has brought me a new way to reach out. After I had cancer and lost all of my hair, I know "the look" of cancer patients. I now have this need to go up to people (mainly women) who are bald with hats or scarves and share my story with them. Ask them how they are doing. Strangely enough, the results have not been as positive. I don't know why. If someone would have come up to me and said, Hey I see you are wearing a scarf. Are you gong through treatment? I just finished...I would have been thrilled. But no. No one approached me. A man called me yanky doodle dandy (red -white-blue scarf) and the grocery store check out lady shared with me that her mom had cancer (and died, thanks!). But other than that, not a soul ever approached me.

What is really strange is that in the oncology office, people don't talk too much to each other. I was forever starting up a conversation. My best friend usually sat with me and we both would ask questions and find out the life history of the person sitting next to me getting their infusion.
It was a little different in the radiation oncology department. I sat with mostly men (prostrate)and they were really friendly. We saw each other every day for weeks.

So, I still have this need to reach out to others. I am a member of a few online support boards, but that is not enough for me. I thought about starting my own support network calling it "First contact". To help the newly diagnosed. I have actually had half a dozen phone calls with women who have been recently diagnosed. What to do? Well, I decided to volunteer with the American Cancer Society's Reach for Recovery program. Hopefully, I can help others. Funny, I remember them coming to see my mother, but no one ever contacted me. They are so short on volunteers. I wonder why? Today, as I mail my volunteer form, I am making fitzhappen.

It is just not fair

Sometimes life is just not fair. I think I have written about this before. I think of all of the injustices around me, in my life, in my community, in the US and in the world.

Every morning I listen to NPR and find out what is going on in the world. I think of all the young men and women losing their lives in the middle east. My heart breaks for their families. Those they leave behind. I hear about the new elections in the Congo and wonder if they will truly see democracy. I hear about victims from tsunami's, hurricanes, earthquakes, war, genocide, disease and murder. Some days it is too much to bare. I have to take a break from the news.

I have several friends who have had tragedy in their lives. A friend who lost a child, the worst loss. Several friends who have lost their parents way too young. My husband lost both his father and brother at a young age. Friends who have suffered molestation while growing up. Friends who have been raped. Friends who have suffered depression. Friends who have been abused or live in abusive relationships. Friends who are battling life-altering and threatening illnesses. All these things happen to good people.

Why do these things happen? Do we bring them upon ourselves? No, I don't think so. What makes us keep going? What makes get out of bed every morning and carry on?

I will tell you what keeps us going. Life. Human spirit. Will power. The human spirit is an amazing thing. We can endure many unspeakable things, but still continue to persevere. Why? I don't know. We are resilient. Those of us who do survive these hardships do so because we have no other choice. We aren't brave or superhuman. We have choosen not to give up or give in. We are the true hero's in life.

I truly believe that the human spirit is strong and will live on long after our bodies retire.

What not to Wear - Corporate Edition

Don't ask me why, but I get caught up in what people wear to work. I focus mostly on women. I think that how we dress is extremely important to how we are preceivied. I also feel that how we dress says a lot about who we are and how we feel about ourselves.

You may think this is shallow. I don't think so. I think it is one of those things that are 'unspoken'. Granted, many people can move ahead based on talent regardless of what they wear, but the rest where talent does not carry them head and shoulders above the rest I think it is very important.

I will see a talented young lady who will adhere to today's "Fashions". Tight shirts, layered, casual, and open toed heel shoes or worst flip flops (gasp!). The mother in me wants to have a talk with this lady and say...what are you thinking? You are not going to a party but a job.

Unfortunately it is not just the young ones. I see it creep up all over. I was in a meeting with a vendor. There were two gentleman and a lady. Both men either had on a suit or jacket. How was the woman dressed? She had on a top that was pretty but you could see her undergarments. The selves where capped, but minus well have been sleeveless. I thought her outfit took away from what she was saying. Am I shallow? or did the other men in the room feel the same way.

I work in a male dominated profession. I feel very strongly that we should dress as to not bring attention to any features that may be enhanced by clothes. (Bust, Butt or legs) I want others to focus on what I am saying not what I am wearing. Is that shallow? I don't think so. I think it is good sense.

I always feel one can never be overdressed. That we should always dress for the next level or position that we wish to achieve. I feel like I am a dying breed. That I am one of the last hold outs to dressing professionally in the corporate casual world.

What do I believe are the "What not to Wear" items ?;

• Flip flops, open toe shoes, any heal over 2"
• any pant or skirt that shows a panty line
• showing any cleevage
• any skirt where if I was sitting across from you, the knees must always be together
• Clothes that are too tight (if you have to ask, then it is)
• Clothes that are wrinkled (looks like one pulled it out of the hamper)
• sleeveless shirt/sweaters, unless it is layered
• Any print or style that is too casual (fashion test, could I where this to the beach?)
• short tops showing your belly (or fat in most cases)
• jeans, untility pants, t-shirts, tight capris, gauchos, shorts

You make think this is a silly blog. Why am I so passionate about this issue? I don't really know. But it is fun to be part of the fashion police once in a while.

Mail Box Mouse

Last Friday I stopped at my mail box like I always do to gather the mail and when I opened the door, two little eyes were starring back at me! Holy crap, it was a mouse. He (or she), I am assuming it was a he, made a little nest in our mail box. We live in a rural area on a dirt road so this shouldn't be a total shock.

For some odd reason I found this wonderful, funny and it made me happy. How could a stupid mouse in a mail box make me happy? Well, it is the surprise of it all. The surprise that a mouse chose our mailbox to call his home. Surprised that he didn't eat my Pottery Barn Catalog. Surprised that the cat hasn't "offed" him as my cat takes great pride in stalking creatures around our home. I was excited to tell all who would listen. My boys were very excited. So much so, against my strongest wishes, reached in to move the mouse's nest. In doing so, the mouse jumped out of the mail box and ran! Picture 3 little boys and a dog trying to chase a mouse around with a butterfly net. Does life get any better?

This mouse must of had a strong will to make the mailbox his home. For some reason I had to check the mailbox every day to see if my new friend had come back. He had. He was all stretched out and enjoying his new home. I would think it would be a hot house. Any port in storm I guess. I think it is pretty neat that we have a mouse in our mail box and I am not going to disturb him unless he does start eating my mail.

I wonder what the mail person is going to think? Fitzhappens!

Like a Hurricane

I have decided that Cancer is like a hurricane. Some storms are a category 1 or 2 and we make it through with very little damage. When the storms are 3,4, or 5 it beats us down. It may take years to rebuild or eventually destroy us. Sometimes we get a small reprieve in the eye of the hurricane which is called 'remission' or 'no evidence of disease'.

Having been diagnosed with BC I feel like I am a coastal city now. I carry on with my normal life watchful on the 'weather'. I try not to focus on it too much until I have a doctor appointment, blood test or scan. Once I get through an event, it is peaceful again.

There is no way to predict accurately how bad real hurricanes will be, it is the same with cancer. I have read too many stories where they thought they 'got it all' only to have it come back with a vengeance. But then again I have read stories where the outcome was expected to be dire, and the storm passed quickly with little damage.

For cancer survivors it is always Hurricane season.

Frog catching

Guess what I did last Sunday? I went frog catching with my boys. Here I am in my forties and I am catching frogs. We had nets and a pond, we were good to go. What more could anyone want on a beautiful sunny Sunday Morning?

I was amazed how my little babies 'jumped' right into the spirit of the hunt. They stepped in mucky water and never blinked. If a frog was jumping around them they showed no fear. They scooped the frog up like it was power ranger toy. I was worried a few times that they were holding their new treasures a little to tight. I continue to tell them that they were just to look at and we will be letting them go after we showed their daddy and be gentle. I have great frog empathy.

We spent a good hour and a half at the frog pond. As I stood there watching them, I thought to myself, now this is what growing up is all about. Experiencing things, doing not watching. My only other random thought was...Where was my camera I am missing a great scrapbook moment!

I don't think I conscientiously tried to raise 'manly' boys, but they are sure turning out that way. They love creatures, bugs and slimly things of any kind. They have been begging me for pet lizzards. Give them a few worms and they will play for hours. They love to play in dirt, play with animals, superheroes, cowboys, Indians, cars, dinosaurs, the list continues to grow. Just yesterday I came home to find their toddler sand- box emptied and moved around the side of the house. They wanted to show their babysitter how 'strong' they were.

Once in a while I will catch them in a testosterone duel. They start breathing heavy, snorting and try to 'take' each other out. Picture two five year olds in a big time wrestling match. At first it starts out as play but I can tell that it turns quickly into more than that. I let it go on for a while. I think it is good to let it out of their systems.

Little boys have too much energy. For example, the current obsession is jumping off of things. My couch, chairs, stairs, swings and their beds! We actually had one get a 'goose egg' after landing incorrectly the other night. It was ugly. I am fearful of the day we take our first trip to get stitches...But then fitzhappens with little boys.

Moving on up

Wow, I can't believe I am done with treatments. I finished my last treatment of Herceptin, a recently approved drug to fight early stage breast cancer. I was in treatment with one chemo protocol or another for over 18 months. What a difference a year makes. My hair is back, and although the style isn't what I like, not a soul would know that I was bald a year ago. For the most part my energy is back.

I don't have to see my oncologist again for 3 whole months! That is the best news. I won't have to have blood drawn or poked with needles for another 3 months! Life is good when this is a major milestone.

They say that most cancers, if they are to reoccur, will happen in the first 2-5 years. I will hit my 2-year anniversary in December. I still have that 'fear' in the back of my mind and I don't think I will need to save for retirement. But then, I think to myself, maybe just maybe I will be one of the lucky ones who makes it. Who is in the 40% that lives past 5 years with out a recurrence. If I am really lucky, I will be in the new generation of survivors that even with a 'poor' prognosis, will be around to tell about it for in decades to come.

People always ask how I am doing, did they get it all, am I okay now. I know that they are caring and for the most part concerned. But for some reason, it bothers me and I don't know why.

My mom tells me that I will be around and has no fears that I wont be. Or least she has not shared them if she did. Most of my family and friends just assume that I am okay now. Only BC survivors really understand the fear of knowning this beast can rear its ugly head again. And that the second time is not the charm.

Devastated...

There are few times in my life when I have been just devastated by news. Unfortunately, they are increasing in frequency. Is it because I am getting older? I know more people? My circle has widen? Or has my compassion increased?

The first time I was really devastated was when I miscarried at 9 weeks. It was terrible. It was my second one. I had hoped that the first one was a fluke, but when it happened again I was devastated.

The second time was 911. I couldn't fathom how this could happen. It was just a horrible day and so many lost their lives.

The third time was when dear friend of mine lost her 15-month old son.

The fourth time was when I learned that I had Breast Cancer.

Now..I am devastated every time I hear of a young women whose cancer is metastatic. Or someone who has died of Breast cancer. Why? Is it my own fears or is it because I know many of these women. I know what they are going through? I don't know.

I recently learned of one of my Online sisters is having a recurrence, maybe to her brain. I was utterly devastated. Sick to my stomach. Which I have felt 4 times before. My heart hurt.

I know that stuff happens, I just wish it wouldn't sometimes.

Scorned by Love

One of my five year old sons came home excited from school last Friday. It seems a young lady in his class had decided that he was the 'one' for her. She made a point of telling all the other little boys that she only wanted him to sit by her, nobody else! They even discussed kissing!

As my son relayed this information to me, smiling from ear to ear, I said that I thought this girl was a little 'fast' for him. He didn't think so. I told him that there was no kissing in school. I don't need my boy getting into any harassment suits by age six.

All weekend long he talked of his new love, Lexis. Oh, she has long brown hair and he wrote a note to invite her over. He asked how to spell words, but when he asked how to spell the work Kiss, I had to put my foot down! No little hussie is going to kiss my baby. ;^)

My husband put up a new swing set this past weekend. My son explained that one swing seat was saved for his girlfriend. He went on and on how they could swing together. It was cute yet disturbing.

As my son was carrying on and on about his new girlfriend (I use that term sarcastically) my husband had a little father son talk with him. My husband told him not to get his hopes up that girls change their minds a lot. Okay, this cracked me up. Love-life advice to a five year old?

Sad but true, my son came home for school telling me that it was over with Lexis. She had thrown him over for another. Lucas. Secretly I was glad. I know evil mom. He didn't seem to bothered. I told him he was too young for girls. He said that he has his eye on another!

I never thought I would be this way, but I don't want my boys to like girls for a long long time. I want to be the center of their female universe for a while longer. Not in the Oedipus type of way, but just the queen for a little while longer.

It should be interesting how my 5 year old son grows into manhood. Will he be this 'into' girls when he gets older? He has 'loved' pretty girls now for 2 years! He always stares at young pretty girls in public. He even used to say out loud.."I love that girl". Guess what? The young girls loved it! When I mean young..teenagers to 20 year olds.

He already told me I need to grow my hair out long. I guess that starts young too. Maybe by the time he is 30 I will ready for him to have a girlfriend, who knows fitzhappens.

It always amazes me...

It always amazes me how spring comes...one day we see budding trees and brown grass, then the next day, the trees have leaves, flowers are blooming, and the grass is growing. I love it.

Last year at this time I was just coming out of chemo and I was just happy to be outside again. Even though I was bald as a cue-ball and wearing a scarf.

This year? I am enjoying every blossom, every leaf, and every day that it is warm, raining, or the air smells of worms! Some times I just want to stop and smell the tree blossoms. I wonder if everyone feels this way?

It is funny, I can't remember the last time I had a 'bad day'. From now on, a bad day is one that delivers bad news about my health. Anything else is okay. Spring tells me that life does go on, with or without us.

I thought to myself today that if I should become ill again, that I want my boys to know that life will go on without me. I want it to.

I hope I have many springs to come.

What have we done??

Seriously, what have we done to the next generation? I am in my forties. The tail end of the so called baby boomers although I don't classify myself as a boomer. But some of the 35 and younger set really bugs me. They expect so much for so little.

So what am I talking about?

Example one...I was at the grocery store today. Needless to say we now have to load our own carts, take them to our cars and unload them, that is besides the point...I digressed..So something fell off the conveyor and it broke, so the cashier called 'customer service' and asked for a new one. This young gal comes walking up (slow) and grabs my item (scrubbing bubbles) and proceeds to get a new one. Mean time I am done checking out...I watch her walk all the way to produce and think, dang! This is going to take all day...So I ask the cashier to watch my fully loaded cart and I go to the bathroom. I come back, still no scrubbing bubbles and no girl. Two more people check out and the lane is closed!
Now I am not an impatient person, with all my waiting for doctors the past 18 months, I know how to wait, but this girl took over 10 minutes!!! I could have done so major power shopping during this time. It was like she didn't care?

Example two...The young men who work for me. They seem to expect to be highly compensated without the experience and education. Just because their job is hard and they do it well. Isn't that what we are paying them to do?

I remember working my hiney off, when I worked in a retirement home, retail, as a file clerk, a computer programmer, and so on...I always put in a full day and gave more. I rose up through the ranks. I never expected to rise to the top in a short time. I knew it took time and hard work.

I think the generation behind me expects too much to be given to them. I think their parents gave them too much. I worry that I might do that to my own boys. I see the next generation unable to think on their own, face adversity and perservere.

But then again, maybe the generation before me felt the same about our generation. I was living on my own by age 19, going to school full time and holding down a full time job. Oh well Fitz happens.

Character

I once read that Character is what you do when no one is looking. I have always believed that. To the depth of my soul. I feel that I have good character. My ex husband, had horrible character. My husband now, has great character. That is why I married him. I had such a horrible experience with #1 putting other things first before me and his daughter and not 'doing what was right'. So when I started to date after my divorce, I was going to marry a man with character!

The other day I was in the parking ramp and was exiting to leave. I noticed an older woman wandering around. It was very obvious that she had misplaced her car. I had proceeded to leave, then looked in my rear view mirror. I could not leave the ramp unless I helped her. I parked my car again and got out.

I found her and ask her if I could help. When I got near to her tears had filled her eyes. I told her it was okay, that I had done this once, and we will find her car. I was in no hurry and not to worry. We wandered around a bit, and I offered to drive her around if we didn't find it soon. Finally, we found it. She was so relieved. She hugged me and said "thank you lady". I say no problem.

I was so happy I could help her. Being scared and alone and lost is no fun. I am so glad that I did stop. It was a blessing for me as much as it must of been to her. When ever I can do random acts of kindness I do. I hope I am remember for this for years to come...

That's okay...

My boys are 5. They play, they fight. Today I watched them chase and wrestle each other. One got a little too physical so the other bit him. The biter ran away..I had to chase him and chastise him. The bitee was screaming bloody murder. A few minutes later, tears drying up we went for a walk with the dog.

Son #1, "oh man...It is really bad", the skin was broken. Son #2 "OH let me see, oh I am sorry I did that", Son #1 "that is okay". Son #2 "yeah, but you were hurting my neck", Son #1 "Sorry about that".

It warms my heart that they are compassionate to each other. I wish the world was more like this. I think I am doing good raising them. =0)

Hello my name is...

Hello my name is Fitz and I am a multitasker! There I said it. I am always doing two things at once. I can't help it. Why do I do this? I am on the phone at home, I start to clean...Or put away dishes, or fold clothes...At work, I will talk on the phone and answer emails or surf the net...
I was filling up my coffee cup this morning and at the same time I was screwing the top on my water bottle that I just filled. I thought to myself this morning why do I do this? When I eat I love to read magazines or read the paper. I watch TV and look at magazines. When I am a passenger in the car, I have to read. I scrapbook and watch TV. I don't even like using the bathroom without using the time to read something. Even if it is the back of a bottle of shampoo!!

Is this crazy? It is a good thing? Or should I be enjoying every task and every moment by itself? Maybe task through life more like a man. I wonder if I am missing something by being a multitasker? Maybe I could teach a course on how to do it? Maybe a new reality TV show! MULTITASK ME.

I will say that I get a ton done every night. But then again some days I feel like I am in a fog. Just as I am getting one task accomplished I see another one that I want to start.

Do you think there is a group called Multitaskers anonymous? Should I start one?
I could probably set something up while I make dinner tonight.

Wow. What a weekend..

I am amazed at what the mind and body can endure. After several weeks of worry and stress over my new pain, the flu for a week, and then a sinus infection, I was worn out. Bone Tired. I didn't realize how tired because I am one of those insane people that push and push myself.

Saturday morning E walked into the room announcing, with tears in his eyes, that the toilet was over flowing. Great. 6:30 a.m. and there is water all over the bathroom floor. I whipped some towels on the floor, tried to un clog it and gave up...I figured my husband could deal with it. I locked the door to prevent any other early risers from committing the same mistake!

I went back to sleep. I slept and slept. I sleep until 10 a.m. Bless my husband for letting me sleep in. I needed it. I must have been exhausted. It felt so wonderful. I got up and showered. By the time I got downstairs it was almost 11 a.m. The boys yelled, "Mom you slept the longest". "Are you sick Mom?" "Why are you sick". I said I was just tired.

I went shopping to one of my favorite stores, Target. Came home and scrapbooked and my Husband made dinner. I enjoyed a few good beers. Life was good. It takes so little to make me happy these days.