Sunday, May 14, 2006

Devastated...

There are few times in my life when I have been just devastated by news. Unfortunately, they are increasing in frequency. Is it because I am getting older? I know more people? My circle has widen? Or has my compassion increased?

The first time I was really devastated was when I miscarried at 9 weeks. It was terrible. It was my second one. I had hoped that the first one was a fluke, but when it happened again I was devastated.

The second time was 911. I couldn't fathom how this could happen. It was just a horrible day and so many lost their lives.

The third time was when dear friend of mine lost her 15-month old son.

The fourth time was when I learned that I had Breast Cancer.

Now..I am devastated every time I hear of a young women whose cancer is metastatic. Or someone who has died of Breast cancer. Why? Is it my own fears or is it because I know many of these women. I know what they are going through? I don't know.

I recently learned of one of my Online sisters is having a recurrence, maybe to her brain. I was utterly devastated. Sick to my stomach. Which I have felt 4 times before. My heart hurt.

I know that stuff happens, I just wish it wouldn't sometimes.

2 comments:

April said...

((Hugs)) Janis. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.

Mamma said...

I'm so sorry. I hate cancer.