fitz happens

fitz happens
I am extremely sad tonight. I have learned that another fellow breast cancer sister has learned that her cancer has spread. It makes me sad and mad. What bothers me the most is that like myself, if we leave this earth we leave our children behind. It seems so unfair. Breast cancer takes young mothers.

My biggest fear today is leaving my children motherless at a young age. When they need me most. They need me to kiss their owies, hug them, talk to them, tuck them in at night, read to them..maybe when they are older they wont need their momma so much, but right now, at the tender age of 5, they need me. I am not ready to go.

I have never felt so much love in my life then the love I have for my boys. I love them so much it hurts. I get excited when I come home from work, because I can't wait to see them. I love their bad breath, crying, and hugs. Every inch of them.

I don't want them to see me get sick. To see me dying. I want them to remember me as a wonderful mother and person. I am afraid that I won't be here for them. There are no guarantees in life. I hope that the time I have with my boys will help them grow to be wonderful friends, boyfriends, husbands, and most importantly fathers.

So if you read this blog, and you have your health and you have kids remember, there are many of us fighting to stay alive for our kids, don't waste a single moment of time you have, it goes too darn fast.