Fear

Fear is a four letter word. One that has way to much power then it should. It can stop one from living, from moving forward, or making a change.

I remember having a lot of fear when I was pregnant with my twin boys. I had two previous miscarriages and I was so fearful that something was going to happen with this one. When I learned it was twins, that sent my fear into overdrive. My sister, who sometimes has some very valuable wisdom, told me that that I needed to put fear in its place and not let it inhibit me from living. Easier said then done.

For the most part my fear has been under control until a year ago. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Now I live in fear. Fear that it will return. Fear that I wont seen my boys grow into men. Fear I will die a painful death. I try not to let that beast out. But it does rear its ugly head. I hate it. It makes me angry. I wish I could move past it. I know I can. It is hard. But life is hard and fitzhappens.