Real Moments

Living in the MOMENT

I am a self-help book addict. It is true!! I must have read hundreds of self-help books over the course of my adult life from relationships, children and of course cancer.

Some were really good, some were okay, and some were horrible! I think the worst one I read was BABY WISE…two of the best ones I read was Healthy Sleep Habits, happy Baby, invaluable for twin mothers and How to Stop Worrying and start Living.

One that I read that I have been thinking a lot about is a book called Real Moments.

What are Real Moments?
I have spent a portion of my life not enjoying the real moments. Real moments are the now not the when. As some of the clichés go, stopping to smell the roses, enjoying people.

I had a horrible habit of looking forward to events thinking that if only I would get married, get a dog, get a house, get a different job that I would be happy. When I never stopped and enjoyed some the basic moments in life that actually made me happy. If I reflect back to the times that were filled with the most fun or joy they were basic events with family or friends. Moments of intense laughter, companionship and just plan old fun.

What stood in the way me not enjoying real moments? For one, my intensity to do several tasks at once. Can you believe that I can talk on the phone, empty the dishwasher and cook all at the same time? Crazy isn’t it? The drive to get everything accomplished. I am not a perfectionist, but I am a multitasker/overachiever. I will set about daily list and try to accomplish everything I can. My husband will plan one event for the weekend, and after he accomplishes it, he is “exhausted”. Heck, I could paint a bedroom, do laundry, make dinner, and clean the carpet in one weekend!

How has this changed? Well, for one having children. The blessing of having children is that every day is filled with so many real moments that it is breath taking. The second would be having one’s mortality smack you in the face and scream “Times up!”. I look at my kids now and think, “I don’t want to miss any of this”. If they ask me to lay down with them at night and we chat about anything, most of the time it is quite humorous, it is as real as it gets. The excitement when they learn something new like beating me in checkers, or invite me to see their latest creation is as real as it gets. Watching them play solders in the front yard after watching a civil war reenactment. I love every stinking minute of it. However, I think the only real moment I don’t enjoy is the fighting between the kiddos.

I don’t want to you think I am totally wrapped up in my children. I enjoy my friends and adult activities. I need those once in a while. That is what completes me as a good mother, wife, friend and manager.

Why are real moments so important to me? Well, I decided a while ago that time is something that we can never get back. There are no do overs in life. If for any reason my life is cut short I want my children to remember a mother who took the time to be with them. A mother who gave out plenty of hugs and kisses, made it to most of their school and athletic activities and a mother who they will remember as fun. I want them to remember me with happiness not restriction. I know that in 10, 20 or 30 years, they won’t care that the kitchen was never clean, that the floors were dirty or that I never fed them 5 course meals. I want them to remember a mother who love to spend time with her children, who played and laughed with them and who was there to share those real moments, because once they are gone, we can never get them back.

Next time someone in your life, whether it be your pet, spouse or child is sharing a real moment, think of what you might miss if you don’t stop to enjoy the moment.