Can I swear on a blog???

I found out today that someone from my past, who made a major impact on my life, though she probably never knew it, died of breast cancer. Damn! she was only 35. She had 3 children. Oh so young.

I was shaken today. I cried. Haven't done that in a while. It just isn't fair. Why did it impact me so? Did I miss her? mourn for what I loss? No, because I really didn't know her. She wasn't someone I ever talked to directly. We shared a board over 7 years ago. She was a big part of my life back then. 7 years ago I was pregnant with Twins, scared out of my wits and she was there. A board moderator and wonderful voice. She left shortly after I had my twins. She found out she had BC, found by accident after a breast reduction. Lucky right? Yeah right.

I think I cried because I hate cancer. I hate what it does to families. There are now 3 more children in this world who have lost their mother. WhY??? Why??? Life isn't fair, shit happens, I know. But the love of a momma for her babies is something so deep it is hard to convey in words. To know that she had to leave her children breaks my heart.

I think I cried because it could be me...some day. Fitzhappens.

Where have you been???

I guess seven months has been too long to be away. Where have I been? I have been living life. Working. Going to doctor appointments. Scrapbooking. Cooking. Cleaning (well not so much). Vacation to the Bahamas, Disney, Onekama.... I guess I have been a busy girl.

Life is good. I am truly happy. Sure I would like a new kitchen floor, drop a few pounds and a decent hair cut. But overall I am happy. That scares me just a little. Last time I felt this way we took custody of my nephew and then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. 3 years ago. Time flies when fitzhappens.